Within the Darkness
by Lt. Basil
Summary: To be a member of the zodiac was to be in pain. All it does, all it causes, is intense, incurable hurt - hurt that will not ever fully heal. Something which was once so beautiful now tears our hearts to pieces. The cat was right. Our happiness could not last forever. The personal stories of each of the juunishi (plus Tohru and Akito). Rated for mentioned child abuse and suicide.
1. Cat

**A/N: Hello again! Okay, so my friend told me that I needed to read the Fruits Basket manga, said that it was really good, so I took a break from fanfiction to read it, and I loved it so much! *fangirl squeal*. Shigure is so funny, haha. And Kyo's super freaking awesome. Anyway, this is my first fanfic for it EVER, so I hope it's decent. All rights belong to the author (what was her name again?).**

**Italics are quotes from the zodiac story as told in the manga itself. **

Chapter 1: Cat

"_You have a most unusual aura; I can't help but be drawn to you. I know I am but a stray cat, but won't you please let me stay by your side?"_

"Worthless."

"Disgusting."

"Monster."

The cat was born to be pushed out. Kyo's father had always been quick to remind him of that. It was a disgrace, an _abomination _whose very existence was for being shunned and ostracized. It was not of the zodiac; therefore, it could not live "inside". _Kyo _could not live "inside". His father hated him, his mother was ashamed of him, everyone else treated him like dirt. Akito, the head of the Sohma household, called him a "monster". To Yuki, the rat, he was "disgusting".

"It's your fault!"

"Stupid cat."

"You're an idiot."

Ones like Yuki, from the year of the rat, were "special". They were handsome, intelligent, talented, not having to work hard at hardly _anything. _If only Kyo could be like that! He couldn't do anything right, and was never good enough for anyone. For him, the Sohmas were impossible to please – of course, he was the cat. He could never match up – unlike that darn _rat._ Why was it that that _Yuki _got to be the rat, while Kyo was stuck as the _cat? _What had either of them done to deserve their stations?

"_You _did this to her!"

"He's not my dad!"

"I won't forgive you…"

All he seemed to be capable of was hurting others. His anger, his hatred, his very _existence _drove his mother to suicide. Shishou's support of him brought along taunts and blows from the other Sohmas. His own completely _moronic, idiotic _selfishness ended up getting Kyoko Honda, the only person other than Shishou whom had ever been kind to him, killed. Wherever he went, chaos ensued, lives were ruined, hearts were torn to shreds. Was that all that he was? A walking catastrophe?

"This is all your fault!"

"Darn rat!"

"I'll beat _you_, too!"

He hurt Yuki, as well. Hating him when he had no good reason to, attacking him, bombarding him with all sorts of verbal abuse… deep down, he just _knew _that he was tearing his cousin's soul into pieces. All that that boy had wanted was to be friends… and yet, Kyo just kept wounding him. Though Yuki never actually _showed _it, Kyo knew that that was the case.

"I can't even stand to look at you!"

"Come any closer, and I'll tear you to pieces!"

Then there was Tohru. Selfless Tohru, sweet Tohru, innocent Tohru. He had a knack for hurting _her, _too. She cried a lot around him, because of the things he said, and what he did. Most of the time, he didn't even mean it, but she was so sensitive, she always took it to heart. Shigure told him that he should be nicer, and he tried, he really tried, but… he wasn't… he wasn't strong enough.

He hated himself so much. What he wouldn't give to not have been born of the cat.

"_God, I… do not want eternity."_

**Yes, I censored what Kyo said about Yuki. I don't like swearing... at all.**


	2. Rat

Chapter 2: Rat

"_And the rat took the first sip…"_

"Everyone hates the rat."

Akito's words were painful, to say the least. Yuki had had no idea that everyone had such a low opinion of him. According to his so-called "friend", though, every member of the zodiac, plus Kyo, blamed him for everything bad that had happened to them. Being just a little boy, he had not noticed at all. Until _now, _that is.

"I hate you!"

He had hoped that he could have been friends with Kyo. After all, it wasn't as if he had many options for friends anymore, after what Hatori did to his friends at school… but Kyo wouldn't have it. He hated Yuki's guts, which hurt so badly… so badly…

"You are strange."

With each passing day, Akito grew more spiteful, more strict. Now, Yuki had to tread lightly, fearful of stepping on his toes. If he stepped just the slightest bit out of line… well, Akito had a dark room designed especially for him, a place of confinement for when he misbehaved. There, he would be left alone for hours, even _days_, lost in silence and darkness, with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. No one ever came for him there; not his father, nor his mother, nor even his big brother. It was cold in there, especially during the winter, and his asthma often worked up. And he admitted it; he cried. It was so lonely in there, so dark, so hopeless… so he cried so much that his eyes swelled up and his nose started running, and then kept crying. For some reason, it made him feel a little better.

"So what if you're a tool?"

As he grew, Yuki became more and more withdrawn. He didn't talk much, didn't smile, didn't really seem to enjoy life at all. Kyo didn't help at all; he continued to hate him, and little by little, Yuki came to resent him a bit as well. It's not like he'd _asked _to be born in the year of the rat! He told him so, once, which only resulted in Kyo punching him in the face. From then on, they were always at each other's throats, fighting, screaming, throwing insult after insult at each other. Being the more talented martial artist, Yuki never lost any of their physical fights, and always ended up sending Kyo off with his metaphorical (or on particularly bad days, literal) tail between his legs. But Kyo's barbed tongue definitely packed more punch than Yuki's fists ever could. That boy could say some of the cruelest things, and sometimes, Yuki even believed them. One time, the cat told him that everyone would be better off if he'd just disappear, and the poor rat couldn't help but take it to heart. Secretly, he'd always thought that, anyway, and Kyo saying it… it was like a confirmation of something that Yuki already knew.

"I'm not a kind person."

When Yuki was old enough, he left the main Sohma house. He couldn't stand Akito's taunts, Kyo's insults, or his own parents' cold indifference. He desperately wanted to get away from it all. In a fit of rebellion, he moved into Shigure's house and applied for a co-ed school against everyone's, especially Akito's, wishes. He hoped that by doing that, he could free himself from the cage that Akito had locked him in – but when he actually _started _school, he finally understood what a foolish notion that was. Regardless of everything, he was still under the Sohma curse, and so long as that was the case, he would never, ever escape that cage. What an idiot he was to think otherwise. What a dense, naïve idiot.

Everyone hated the rat… even the rat himself.

"_The next time I see you, I want to see you laughing, surrounded with people."_


	3. Ox

Chapter 3: Ox

"_Then was the ox…"_

It was Yuki's fault that everyone thought he was stupid; Haru was sure of it. In the story, the rat had taken advantage of the ox by riding on it back to the banquet. Meaning that it was _that_ idiot's fault that everyone looked down on him now. He wanted to kill Yuki. That stupid dirtbag, thinking he could climb all over him, tramble him, _abuse _him… people like that didn't deserve to live.

Inside, Hatsuharu knew that his hatred towards Yuki was unfounded. He'd never once even met the kid – he didn't have any idea what he was actually _like, _so why did he feel that it was necessary to think of him in such a harsh manner? The answer was almost painfully simple; IT WAS EASY. Dumping the blame on someone else was so much less difficult than trying to figure out who really deserved it. Perhaps he was being insensitive; he didn't really care. His anger outweighed his guilt.

When he actually _met _Yuki, though, he was surprised. Why was he so nice to everyone? Wasn't this supposed to be the cursed rat? Haru was baffled by this boy, baffled by his selflessness. That wasn't the way that the rat was supposed to be! The rat was the one whom had tricked the cat, the one who'd used the ox for its own selfish purposes. It had no right to be this kind! What a shock that was.

Haru didn't trust him at first. His biases made him close himself off to that kindness, believing it all to be a hoax. For a while, he tried to convince himself that Yuki's acceptance was a fraud. There was _no way _that the _rat _would be so quick to accept someone. But Yuki did. Such kindness, such consideration, was a foreign thing to Hatsuharu. It was strange, but… in a good way. At first, it frightened him, overwhelmed him; so many times, he'd been told, and believed, that he was stupid and slow. Yuki, however, said that it was those people who would say such things to him that were the stupid ones. Over time, the wall Haru put up began to crumble, and he eventually became comfortable around the "rat". They ended up friends by the end. Best friends.

Then came Rin. She was really something else; smart, spunky, _beautiful… _Haru was head-over-heels in a instant. He wanted her, quite a bit, actually, and every day, the wanting grew worse and worse... until he finally decided to give in to it. He asked her out, against Akito's wishes, and was astonished and delighted when she said yes. For a while, they were happy. No one knew that they were going out, not even Yuki, which they preferred, and they were never bothered. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Haru knew that they would be found out eventually, but his desire drowned out his common sense. In hindsight, that was a mistake.

Because Akito _did _find out. When he discovered that Rin and Hatsuharu were together, he threw a fit, even going so far as to shove Rin out of a second story window. Luckily, she was found and taken to the Sohma's hospital, but… the damage that the fall did to her… it weakened her immensely. When Haru came in to visit her, she told him to leave.

"Go away."

"I don't need you anymore."

"Please leave."

He didn't know what had happened. He didn't understand that she was trying to protect him from Akito. All he could see was that she was pushing him a way. It hurt pretty bad, too. Something had gone wrong, obviously, but he had no idea what. Was it something he had said?

"_Those were unthinkable things to say."_


	4. Tiger

Chapter 4: Tiger

"_Then the tiger…"_

It was too much for a sixth grade girl to handle. Perhaps it was true that Kisa was an odd child – all Sohmas, especially those of the zodiac, were – but… did they really have to remind her of the fact 24/7? The teasing, the bullying, all of it was becoming overwhelming. And now that Hiro wasn't talking to her anymore… it was as if she were a chair and one of her legs had been ripped off.

"Haha, she's so weird!"

"Freak!"

"What? You too stupid to come up with a comeback?"

Clenching her teeth and closing her eyes, Kisa would walk right past them, trying to pretend that she couldn't hear what they were saying. Which only seemed to ever make them laugh even harder, if that were possible. Oftentimes, they'd even start shoving her or kicking her at that point. "She's so pathetic!" If the children reached that point, Kisa would run away from them as fast as she could, trying to keep from trying the entire way. Their laughter echoed in her ears down the entire corridor, all the way to the classroom. Only the teacher's lectures could free her from their taunts for a short amount of time.

Sadly, there were all too many days that ended up like that. She didn't talk about it – she didn't talk at _all, _actually – and since her parents were always so busy, they never had any idea about what was really going on. Hiro ignored her too, so the person that normally she would go to first was now out of her reach. She really was alone, this time. Well, okay, that wasn't entirely true; Haru was there, and he knew that something was going on, but she still didn't feel secure enough to say anything. Even though he was like a big brother to her, she just couldn't…

School had become synonymous with "Hell" in her mind by now. Maybe it was her curse working against her that made her such a target, or maybe it was simply because she was such an introvert that she didn't make friends very quickly, anyway. Kisa didn't know. Akito had always said that they junishi were born with a destiny of pain – all she had to do was look at Kyo, Yuki, or Momiji… what she was going through very well might've been because of the curse. It was as plausible as an explanation as any, right? Either way, though, the fact was that she _hated _school, not to mention everyone in it. Whenever someone there talked to her, mean words seemed to burst from their mouths. And since she didn't have a lot of friends to support her, it was all the harder to hang in there – but then, even if she _did _have friends, how would she tell them about it? Emotional trauma sealed her lips tight.

Today, she finally decided to skip school. She didn't really know where she'd go, or what she'd do instead, but she just couldn't go back there. It was raining, so Kisa crawled underneath a hedgerow and curled into a ball, trying to hide from the dampness and the cold. Closing her eyes, she cried quietly in the shelter of the bush, taking advantage of her refuge. Fat, wet drops fell through the gaps of foliage and onto her head, wetting her bright red hair. She sneezed, feeling the beginnings of a cold coming on. Violent shivers shook her body, and soon, retching coughs and wheezing sneezed left her nose sore and her throat raw. As the hours passed, as the sickness and depression took their toll, Kisa changed into her zodiac animal, leaving a shivering little tiger cub huddling miserably in the bushes. A tortured, pain-filled moan escaped the girl/tiger's mouth. _Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying…_

Warm hands wrapped around her middle and scooped her up, pulling her out of her leafy shelter. As she was raised into the air, Kisa turned her feline eyes to the face of her captor, seeing deep blue irises and dark locks of a young woman. The girl cocked her head, fascinated. "…It's a tiger…"

Kisa bit down on the girl's exposed hand.

"_He was not afraid…"_


	5. Rabbit

Chapter 5: Rabbit

"_Then the rabbit…"_

On the day of Momiji's birth, he transformed into a rabbit the moment he was laid in his mother's arms. The woman had been mortified. "What is this _thing?_" she shrieked. Her husband was at a loss. He didn't know, either – the Sohma curse had not been made known to him. So when the head of the household, Akito, explained it to them… they were horrified.

"Our child is a monster," the mother had sobbed. "A revolting _thing_."

"No," her husband replied flatly. "He is cursed. It is not his fault that he is like this."

The woman glared at him. "Then whose fault is it? Mine? Have I done something wrong? Have I failed as a wife? Or is it _yours?" _she added venomously. "The curse runs in _your _blood, after all."

Narrowing his eyes, he had replied, "It is no one's fault."

But she didn't believe him, and as Momiji grew, she proved that again and again. The boy received no love from his mother – only condescension and rejection. Every day, she reminded him of his handicap. She refused to hold him, or even to touch him; when he was an infant, his _father _had to nurse him using a bottle of store-bought formula. Indeed, his father was the one who cared for him all his life – his mother never _once _even offered to help. Small comfort was taken in his father's love for him, but every child needs a mother. In that area, Momiji was greatly deprived.

When he was old enough to start school, the boy really started falling apart. It wasn't like he was badly bullied or anything (he was a little bit, but not an unbearable amount). But his mother's treatment of him made him so unstable and uncertain. At first, he was terrified of other people, especially girls. As a result, his emotional and social development slowed dramatically, so that even in high school, he acted as if he were ten years old, or even younger.

By the time he was nine, Momiji's mother had had enough. "It's all too much," she sobbed to her husband. "I can't live in the same house as that… thing… anymore. I'm so sorry."

His face remained expressionless as he replied, "So am I."

Momiji cried at that.

The woman packed her bags and left, stopping first by Hatori's for a memory wipe ("I'm trying to distance myself after all. What better way than to forget?"). The man watched her sadly, hating what she was asking of him, hating her for abandoning her family. That poor child, alone and motherless… how similar this seemed to what happened to poor Kyo…

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Hatori pressed, hoping to dissuade her. "You won't regret it?" Momiji, listening on the other side of the door, strained his ears for her reply, both anticipating and dreading it.

A manic grin covered the woman's face – a cruel smile, Hatori thought. He'd even go so far as to say evil. "The only regret that I have," she chuckled wickedly, "is that that _creature _came out of my body!" Momiji wilted, crawled away from the door, and began to sob.

Hatori grimaced slightly, but did his best to hide his revulsion and remain impassive as he replied (a little curtly), "So be it."

Momiji told himself to forgive her. She was not actually cruel; she was weak and confused. And that was okay. _She'll be happier now, anyway. Maybe it's for the best._

But it hurt like a stab through the heart.

"_To God and all the other animals, it was rejecting words."_


	6. Dragon

**A/N: Sorry for the break. My muse went ker-SPLAT! Hatori's story was hard to interpret, since, as I've said before, I'm no romance author. I hope that this will be satisfactory, though!**

**I won't be updating for at least a week on any of my stories, since I'm headed off to camp tomorrow. But I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible!**

Chapter 6: Dragon

"_In the end, the dragon died last…"_

Hatori Sohma was a cold as snow.

He wasn't cruel, or anything like that. In fact, he was quite kind – especially compared with his friends, Ayame and Shigure. His heart was good, and he did not like it when others were in pain.

However, he was cold. Sort of… distant. To someone who didn't know him, he seemed unfeeling and apathetic. To those who _did _know him, he was quiet and aloof. As he was the Sohma house's official memory-wiper, he had to hide quite a few different emotions. No one could see them. No one could know his pain.

And no one did… until Kana, that is.

Hatori had never met someone like her before, someone so gentle, so open, so carefree. He was caught off guard. She hat this way of coaxing a smile out of others simply by talking. Her spirit was light and happy, so incredibly lively and just _overflowing _with joy… he'd never seen the likes of it ever before.

Even though he had never been in love, he instantly knew that that was what he was feeling. Why else would he feel so light and easy and _whole _when he was with her? Was there any other way that he could _ever _permit someone else to see his emotions like that? In all honesty, he _seriously _doubted it.

Despite this, even when they ended up getting together, he still hid quite a bit from her. Due to his curse, he never embraced her, and pulled away from her every time she attempted to do so to him. Part of him feared that she would reject him if she ever discovered what he really was.

But she didn't. Actually, she found it rather amusing. At first, she'd panicked, not knowing what to do or even understanding what was going on, never mind _how on earth _her boyfriend was now a tiny seahorse sprawled out on the carpet. After the incident was over, she practically laughed her head off. She didn't mind at all. Kana Sohma really was a wonder…

When Akito learned of the two of them, though, he threw a fit. For when Hatori asked him for permission to marry Kana, the leader of the house simply lost it – he hurt Hatori, _blinded _him, and cursed Kana. All the hopes that the young couple had built up came crashing down that day.

With that, the light that Kana had always carried with her was snuffed out. Gone was her laughter and her smiles; gone was her carefree nature and absolute innocence. Hatori hated seeing her like that – he didn't blame her, and he told her as much. She merely shook her head and cried.

"Maybe… it would have been better if we had never met…"

He couldn't stand to see her in such pain, knowing all the while that he could take it away. Even if it hurt him… even if he was never whole again… he could not allow himself to sit by and watch her suffer. If this was the only way to free her, so be it. Her happiness was more important to him than his own would ever be.

So he wiped her memories. They were the source of her pain, after all… so essentially, _he _was the cause. It would be better this way. This was the way it should be.

And even though Akito was the one who had driven he and Kana apart, Hatori did not blame him for what happened to her. He couldn't.

It was only the nature of the Sohma curse.

"_Let us accept that all things end…"_


	7. Snake

**A/N: I'm back! Sorry I took so long to update, but I lost the list of ideas that I had for this and had to start everything after chapter 6 from scratch, and that took a little while. So… yeah… **

**Hope you enjoy this one!**

Chapter 7: Snake

"_Do not split and separate things based on something such as 'beauty'."_

It would be a lie if Ayame said that he hated his little brother. He didn't know Yuki well enough to be able to honestly say that. But it would also be a lie to say that he loved him, for the exact same reason.

The boys didn't see each other much. Since Ayame was so much older than Yuki, by the time the younger boy was old enough to think for himself, his brother was already out of the house. And he didn't really mind that; he was so busy with other things – namely college, career preparation, and girls – that he didn't have much time for his kid brother. Wasn't his adult life top priority? He was already Mr. Uber-popular, Mr. Comedian, Mr. Talented – all he had to do was incorporate that into his job and _presto_; perfect life. Well, as perfect as it could be for a juunishi, anyway.

Then, he learned about the "cage".

Whenever Yuki angered Akito, whenever he stepped out of line, he would be locked in a dark, windowless room for hours at a time. Ayame couldn't say that he was _happy _about it – his brother _was _only a kid, after all. But the way he saw things, it really wasn't his problem. Maybe it'd help the kid grow up a bit, understand how vital his position was. So Ayame decided to forget it and move on.

Except that he couldn't forget it, nor could he convince himself to accept it. _This kid is my brother! How can I just stand by and let this happen to him? Why won't Mother or Father do anything? Heck, why won't _I _do anything? _Deep down, he knew the answer. None of them could go against Akito. Plus, Yuki was the rat. In most people's minds (though not _entirely _in Ayame's), he deserved such treatment.

Still, despite the constant doubt that kept eating at him, Ayame continued with life as normally as he could. He went to college, flirted with every girl that crossed his path, read playboy magazines and Shigure's (oh-so-amazing!) novels, got a degree and started his own business. He became rather fond of his assistant, Mine, though, due to the curse, not to mention what he knew about Hatori and Kana, he couldn't act on it. Life went on for him, and he enjoyed every second of it.

But then Yuki ran away from Sohma House.

Ayame had always known that his brother was miserable there, but this was just too much. What on _earth _had possessed him?! Didn't he know the consequences of such rash actions? What did their parents think of this? Worse, what did _Akito _think?

It couldn't have been _that _bad for Yuki over there… could it? Ayame like that place well enough – he didn't _love _it or anything, but still. Sohma House was a nice place!

_Should I have stayed there with him? _he wondered. _If I had been a better brother to him, if I'd been there for him, would he have stayed? _A horrible thought struck him. _Is this my fault?_

He had to fix this. Yuki was his _brother, _after all. He was his responsibility, despite how much he had always tried to claim otherwise. There was _no way _that he could leave him in such pain, with so much weight laid down on his shoulders.

So he would go to him. He would finally be the big brother that Yuki needed. And would set everything right.

It was the least that he could do.

"_There is something I want to say to you… not just in words, but with fingers that can touch."_

**So, did that make up for the wait? I'll try to be better about updating in the future, I promise!**

**Please review!**


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